LOL! Let me apologize. I'm sorry if my previous post sounded scary. I was just angry with myself for being so careless. Anyway, I'm fine now. You know... we always need at outlet to release our frustration... HAHA! I'm a very resilient person. After venting my frustrations, I'd be fine. (:
Yes, I'm not emo. In fact im happy! Cos i met Dai Yang Tian again! HAHA! Today's my lucky day lah i tell u. I actually forgot that I've erhu lesson tonight, at 6.15pm and cca time was changed frm 3-5 to 5-7 this week. Apparently i couldnt make it for lesson. Unfortunately, I only realised that i've a lesson when xls texted me a reminder yesterday afternoon. So it was GG for me as i had been so busy preparing for SPAS and tests these two weeks that I didn't touch my erhu at all. I was actually planning to mug erhu after my tests but i've no more chance. Luckily class ended at 1.30 today for me. Once we were let off, I immediately headed to MPH to prac. Luckily i played yin yue hui and yang guang before, so it was more like a recap. I was also supposed to prepare liu lang but i gave up due to time constraint. Tell u, i was very lucky. Before me, it was a girl who played yang guang as well. Her yang guang wasn't very good and xls's mood was dampened. I was scared that my lesson would screw up cos her initial mood was alrdy unpleasant. LUCKILY i sounded as though i pracced a lot cos my yin yue hui and yang guang flowed smoothly and i think my yang guang had the right MOOD! WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! Guess what? Her mood was brightened again! Luckily she allowed me to play liu lang on sun instead. If she heard my liu lang, i bet her mood would change by pi radians (*tries to show off* HAHAHA!).
Ok, that was a wordy paragraph. Oh well, before i leave, i just wanna say a few words.
1. Thank you Szemin, Layting and Chewfei for the encouragements when i was feeling down!
2. Thank you Siying who comforted me when I was complaining abt my screwed-up physics SPA!
3. I've been really busy these 2 weeks (ok i know this is a very lousy excuse). I'm sorry for being irresponsible as I havent been catching up with deadlines. Now that the lecture tests have come to an end, I'll spend my time to make up for the things that I ought to but havent completed. I WILL DO MY BEST, SINCERITY GUARANTEED. HAHA! really very sorry!
10:58 PM
Till we meet again..
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
i feel shitty. all becos of physics spa. i was well-prepared, definitely. but i still commit the same old mistakes unknowingly! this is very stupid. my p value is so off, my unit for p is wrong (apparently the unit of mass is g but i went to put degree g^(-2), HOW STUPID.), i forgot about my graph title, yada yada..... what's wrong with me seriously! i know all these are wrong. y didnt they occur to me when i was doing my experiment? y do they only appear in my head after the entire thing!? argh. just becos i screwed my evaluation portion for the prev mock spas, i placed my focus on the evaluation part. since mdm chen said we shd write as many as possible, i wrote 5 though we're only required to write 2. and that's really stupid. since i had so much time left, I SHD HAVE CHECKED! I SHD HAVE SPENT MORE TIME TO CHECK, OR EVEN EDIT MY VALUES SUCH THAT THEY GIVE ME A NICER RESULT OR A NICER SET OF DATA POINTS. Y DID I BOTHER TO SPEND THE REST OF THE TIME ON MY EVALUATION!?!?! argh. well, what can i say? this is just SO STUPID. PLAIN STUPID. NOTHING ELSE. not like i didn't study, not like i wasnt prepared. im just so stupid that i commit stupid mistakes. this is not the first or tenth time. it's probably the 100th over time when im prepared for smth yet i always screw up during the actual thing. it seems to be pointless to put in effort. im sick of this.
guess what? i always thought losers are people who work hard but don't produce results, cos they work blindly. guess what? i think im becoming one of them. L-O-S-E-R
10:26 PM
Till we meet again..
Saturday, August 15, 2009
On a random note,
HAPPY 92th B'DAY
NANYANG!<3
10:12 PM
Till we meet again..
nowadays i realised that i like people with beautiful minds. dont really know how to explicitly describe what a beautiful mind is like, but yeah, i enjoy being with people with beautiful minds. perhaps it's the way to deal with things and the way they see things. :D
anyway, i think things arent THAT tough lah. as long as i spend time and sufficient effort, i'll be able to do it. moreover, im not stupid! im just slow. i need to do my papers faster cos i've been losing marks to my retardation! not that i dont know how to do lor, just not enough time to finish! ok, since there's hope, i'll try harder the next time! Let me tell you, I'VE FAITH THAT I'LL MAKE IT ONE DAY. muahahahha.....
12:37 AM
Till we meet again..
Thursday, August 13, 2009
i can feel the hope! (:
thank you God! <3
10:11 PM
Till we meet again..
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Phew! This hectic week is finally over. Monday and wed CCA, Tue had pw filming, Thur had formals till 10pm and Friday was ND celebration, GEMS, movie followed by GE prac. Glad that I recharged myself on Saturday morning and afternoon! Then went to Yijiao's house for fac comm gathering/Wangchi's b'day celebration.
Things are getting tough and I'm losing faith. Somehow, it feels like everything is beyond me. Is it me who is deteriorating or are things getting more and more difficult? In the past, no matter how tough things were, I knew I'd be able to find a way if I had the will. Now, it seems like things are so tough that I cant touch the safety line; it's way beyond my reach. It really sucks to be not good. Cos I need to go extra miles just to be on par with others. Sighs. My confidence level is falling. I've no hope in whatever I'm doing. I'm losing myself. I don't wanna think anymore. I'll just do my best in whatever I have to do. PS: It really sucks to be a lousy loser.
I realised that my b'day is coming soon. This makes me angry cos I havent celebrated chewfei's b'day (recall when her b'day was.). It seems like we don't have a free day in common. We're always so busy to find the right time for celebration. Damn. I'm such a failure. Why make it so extravagant? Why didnt I settle it in a simple way? So what if we've prepared everything way before 26 mar? We cant even find a day to make everything happen. It's such a failure that it hasnt even occurred. FAIL.
Yes, i'm very unhappy with myself cos i think im very lousy this yr. Cant celebrate my fren's b'day, cant do well in blocks, cant produce an error-free prog bklet (even if it's normal to have error, i still made a big mistake), cant finish econs essay in time, cant even play liulang properly, cant tiao gong after a month?! Everything is not going in my way. You know, i feel that I'm such a lousy shit that I should just vanish in this world (haha ok, dont worry, i don't mean that i wanna commit suicide. that's stupid btw.). Dang... I'm really pissed with myself.
I think I'm becoming paedophilic. I enjoy looking at kids play. Cos I miss that innocence in their happiness. At least when they laugh, they're truly happy. It's so hard to be genuinely happy now. You may say that i'm pessimistic or whatever, but doesnt it make sense that life will only get worse as it progesses?
Ok fine. I should cease my anger for now. It's pointless but i just cant help it. Oh well, I'm excited about watching fireworks with layting and szemin later! Wheeeeee! I hope we get to watch n the crowd isnt THAT BAD. hahaha! Anyway, I'm in love with Rachael Finch. (Who is she?!) She's Ms Australia! I was site hopping just now and went to the Ms Universe website. She's stunningly gorgeous! Let me show you the evidence. Muahahha...
Are you drooling now? LOL! I HOPE SHE'LL WIN THE CROWN FOR MS UNIVERSE! COS SHE DESERVES IT! :D:D:D
Perhaps it's not bad being a bimbo. Brainless but good-looking. At least you win the attention just based on looks and can earn money using that avenue. Look at the artistes and models, they earn a lot. Unlike me, I'm a goner. No brain and no looks, no future. OH! I don't mean that Rachael Finch is stupid, this thought just occur to me suddenly haha.
4:48 PM
Till we meet again..
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Wheeeee! School has been quite interesting these days! Let me blog about some random things...
On Wed, it was Jennifer's group's mini-trial. We were supposed to go and grade the cleanliness of school toilets. Haha! After that, we're supposed to fill in the feedback form and if our comments were constructive, we'll be given a small snack each. Rachel and I couldn't wait to eat the chocolate, but we werent sure if we're allowed to eat in class. So we hid under the table to eat (fortunately, we're also sitting on the last row). HAHA! Then Mrs Tan started speaking and we're scared that we'll be caught. Everyone finally settled down but we havent finished our chocolate! We quickly gobbled our chocolate. Then we realised that our lips had chocolate stains! We helped each other by telling each other where the stains were. LOL! While she was speaking halfway, we quickly crawled back to our seats. Fortunately, the lesson ended on the dot and we were just in time to stand up and greet her directly. Right after that, we chionged out of the room to wash our dirty hands. LOL! WHAT A CLOSE SHAVE!
Rmb I posted a video of Wondergirls' 'Nobody' a few days ago? Here's the Mr Brown version. Quite hilarious! HAHA!
Monday's chem lecture test. Unfortunately, the flu bug caught me. ): I'm down with a cough and fever. Gahhhhh... Please let me recover!!! I don't wanna be absent from school! ): Neither do I hope it's H1N1. ): GOD BLESS ME!!! :D
